Irritable Vowels 'n Drones..

I work at a university, amongst other things, most of my job is program coordination of an online program. This program was introduced in the fall of 1998. I started in January 1999. For over a decade this program has maintained an average student body of over 100 students.  

It's fair to say, without boasting that I generally know what I'm doing. 

I've created an online forum for 'my' students.  Here is where I maintain a program calendar, with relevant and important dates. I have a handbook that lists the various items of information they will need throughout their time in our program.  I post weekly notes in there that welcome new students, congratulate graduating students, remind them of examination periods, university closures

This is a post I really really want to post in there. 

Post Pardon Depression: 

97% of you students are fantastic, and read the material made available to you, resulting in a relatively stress free time in the program for the grand majority. 

Though I'm sure you'll read it, this post is not really meant for you.

There is a small number say 3% on a bad day, who have opened this forum once, and found that the information they were looking for wasn't automatically generated to the front page.  I am sorry, my data implants for telepathically generated information sourcing is on back order with Amazon. 

What amazes me, constantly, term after term, is that it is always the same students. Each and every term. 

I can lead a student to information but I can't make him think.

Today, it took every effort not to engage in a war of words with one of that 3%. It's probably safe to say this here, SINCE HE NEVER READS WHAT HE SHOULD ANYWAY.  I was sent a total of 15 emails this morning trying to tell me that the last day to pay fees is somewhere in October. It is not, viewing the calendar and the guidelines you will see it is in fact this September, and you will see what will happen to your registration if you continue to believe you have until October.

What disturbs me the most is how he had the audacity to speak for the lot of you. You grand students who know to follow the route of least resistance and value the guidance provided.

"Most of us..." he whined 

Most of you? Most of you? What you actually mean is: ONE of you. I'm sorry foul fool but in this you stand alone. 

Do not generalize the majority of my students amongst the banality of the ignorant solo YOU. 

You who not two weeks into the term, were on a list of ONE given to me by your instructor asking to follow up and see WHY YOU HAVEN'T participated in class yet. Perhaps you should consider that executive MBA program.. it may be more your speed after-all. 

... I really want to post that. But I won't. 

Instead I will bring up items of note each week as I go through and drag him and his "most" of none through the program keeping them safe from being discontinued, helping them arrange their exams, make sure their course load is sourced properly and finally finally at the end of the three years I will straighten their hats and gowns and kick their pants down the aisle at the massive ceremony where they mingle with the other engineers and receive their degrees from the president of the university. 

But sometimes... sometimes I just really want to be rude.